Children are forced into a strict hierarchy in which they mercilessly compare themselves to other children. “Children always ask themselves: ‘Who is the tallest? Who is the fastest? Who is the greatest? Who’s King of the Hill? ‘”Says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “And within that comes some real struggles. What if you are not like that? What if you are not athletic? I think it is a great vulnerability for children”.
How to help
Talk about the different, not the best. It's important to emphasize the unique qualities of the child, says Dr. Busman. Children need to know that we all have different abilities, and we grow and learn at different rates.
Get your child familiar with the media. Busman suggests watching television with his son or discussing what they are doing online. "Maybe you see something on television that stereotypically portrays children," he says. "Then you can say, 'That's interesting, not all children are like this. Some kids are very good at sports, and some are not. 'And if you see a perfect example to emulate, it's also an excellent opportunity to highlight his attributes: 'That guy is great. He is brilliant, respected by the people around him, and he is very kind. '
More varied role models. Thompson notes that showing male role models who are an alternative to athletic culture (say, artists, teachers, cooks, musicians) shows boys different and legitimate ways to develop their talents and still be valued. "If you want to give boys confidence, then you give them the feeling that their abilities are going to earn them the respect of other men and boys."Children are expected to be “strong.”
Even today, social norms often dictate that children should not cry. “So what kids are taught is that when they’re sad, when they’re frustrated, don’t be sad but get angry,” says Steiner-Adair. “We have made some progress, but in general, the situation is still such that at eight years old, a child has to learn not to cry.”
She points out that we are asking this of children just at the age when they are developing the ability to “really feel deeper and more meaningful emotions and the empathy to disconnect from their sadness and vulnerability.” Later, this boys-turned-youth have to learn to communicate their thoughts and emotions “without feeling that they are somehow violating their masculinity.”
Be ‘hyper-honest’ with yourself.
Houpert suggests being “hyper-honest” with yourself as a simple, everyday way to exercise your self-confidence.
For example, suppose someone asks you what you do for fun and what you do. If you find yourself holding back or hiding something, evaluate that. It is an indication that you should stop doing that activity or, more likely, that you should accept that part of yourself and show yourself proud,” she mentioned.
This does not mean that you have to share every part of your personality with everyone you meet. You can share your geeky hobbies with your geeky friends and, at work, talk only about work issues. However, you can find someone to share more about yourself with. “When you stop hiding parts of yourself from others, you find that you feel more secure in being who you are,” Houpert said.
Start exercising
Many people start exercising to lose weight or gain muscle, but exercise can also boost your self-confidence a lot. The American Psychological Association has found that exercise improves mood and, along with constant therapy and treatments, helps fight depression and anxiety. It can also help improve your confidence if you keep doing it for a while. Regular exercise requires a specific commitment, and keeping that commitment is an achievement. Not giving up on a new, healthy habit makes you more confident and allows you to see physical improvements in your body and health in the long run.
Try to do things that make you uncomfortable.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is uncomfortable, as is to be expected. Houpert says that’s the point.
“Ultimately, confidence is about being comfortable in a variety of situations where most people would be uncomfortable,” he said. “So, if you expand the limits of your comfort zone every day, in a short time, it will become larger, and you will be comfortable even outside of it.”
This can include very challenging changes, such as accepting a new job or facing someone you tend to avoid. But it can also mean making more minor changes, such as striking up a conversation with a stranger, if you are a shy person, or probadd a new dish. According to Houpert, it is more important to expand your comfort zone a little regularly rather than occasionally diving deep.
How to build and cultivate your self-confidence on a day-to-day basis
No matter how low confidence they have in themselves, any person can replace that image that they have with a more beneficial one. For this, you need to be willing to get involved in self-awareness. Begin to give value to your tastes, expectations, motivations, dreams, and illusions.
Knowing yourself in all aspects will provide you with a unique vision of yourself. You will see that you are not just another person; you are a unique being … You have a personality, talents, and experiences that no one else has. If you can value that treasure that is you, you can begin to make the most of it, polish yourself, and develop yourself.
To build your self-confidence, you have to know that you have to stop comparing yourself to others. You have to improve yourself, and each person has a rhythm and motivation, so you must focus specifically on how you can progress with yourself. See what you are building within your possibilities, and become the best person you are capable of being. This, as you will see, has nothing to do with what others do or do not do.
